After the good day, which is the day he went down on one knee and asked the question, the next thing we’re all waiting for is the bigger and better day – the wedding day.
And we don’t want to wait for donkey years; we just want to groove with the same energy.
Party after party.
But is this how it always goes?
It’s bad enough if you have to wait for so long for marriage after proposal.
As long as your man is still completely committed and interested in getting married to you.
But the trauma when he doesn’t follow through with the marriage plans after the proposal.
The pains and shame of disappointment, the numerous questions from people who were expecting a marriage, the ordeal of having to start over – all these leave one question on your lips: “Why?”
And if we would sincerely answer this question, there are several reasons your man didn’t go through with the marriage plans after proposing to you.
10 Possible Reasons Why He Hasn’t Married You After the Proposal
1. Timing Issues
Sometimes, a man can propose to you, thinking he is really interested in getting married right away, only to realize that the timing isn’t just right.
He may have thought he was ready to take the plunge, only to realize at a later date that it would be best to wait.
It’s true that he should have given a thorough thought to it before he bought the ring so as to spare you the pain and trauma, but a lot of things happen to people in love that cloud their vision and their reasoning.
Factors such as his career, educational ambitions, or the need to be financially stable may be his reason for the delayed wedding plans.
But if this is not communicated properly, it may feel like he’s canceled the marriage plans and left you hanging.
At this point, it’s important to stay calm and talk to him about the reasons for his delay.
You could discuss if there are any other options that you can explore together, such as a civil ceremony or other alternatives that would fit into his current lifestyle.
You should also provide him with emotional support during this time so he knows he can count on you.
2. Fear of Commitment
It’s funny how people bask in the euphoria of love and their desire for a person that they become oblivious to the commitment that marriage is.
But after proposing to a woman, it begins to dawn on a man the level of commitment he is getting into.
This realization may be followed by a fear that’ll make him reconsider his decision.
Truth is, your man may be scared of the long-term commitment of marriage.
He loves you, yes.
He wants to be with you, yes.
But does that stop him from having cold feet towards marriage even after he has proposed to you? No.
With his cold feet, he may delay the marriage, dragging his feet on plans, or he may decide to come out clean and just call off the wedding.
3. Relationship Problems
People must be careful with what they allow to thrive in their relationships.
The fact that your man has slid that ring into your fingers does not mean that he is bound to you through whatever comes.
You begin to keep unending malice with a man who wants to marry you, or you are slow to forgive him for minor issues in the relationship, piling up unresolved conflicts to take to the marriage.
When he notices this trait in you, he may reconsider his plans to get married to you.
One of a man’s greatest needs in marriage and in life is peace.
If he realizes that he won’t get that peace from you, he may withdraw from you even after he has proposed to you and started marriage plans.
4. Family or Cultural Expectations
When a man comes to you with marital prospects, you should ask him if he has his family support or if you meet up with the expectations of his culture.
If the answer is no, it may be a sign that he doesn’t really want to get married, even if he says otherwise.
A man will not risk his family’s disapproval of marriage.
He is also unlikely to go against the wishes of his culture, especially when it comes to something as serious as marriage.
If you sense that there is family or cultural pressure on him not to marry you.
This may seem like an insignificant thing, especially in this generation, until he calls off the engagement with you because his family said “no.”
No matter how much a man loves you, as long as you are unmarried, he still has the leverage to choose his family and culture over you.
If the pressure becomes too much to bear, like in a situation where there is a threat to disown, he may decide to give in to pressure and discontinue marital plans.
5. Emotional Readiness
Just because a man has been a great boyfriend and has proposed to marry you does not mean that he is emotionally ready for marriage.
The emotional capacity required in dating is different from what is required to have a successful marriage.
Plus, it is unwise to weigh your man’s marital emotional stability in comparison to others.
Emotional readiness for marriage varies from person to person.
And your man may just realize that he isn’t emotionally ready during the course of preparations for the wedding.
In this case, he might need more time to feel fully prepared for this significant life change.
6. Doubts About Compatibility
Compatibility is very important for intending couples, and pre-marital processes often expose loopholes in many relationships.
Your man may begin to re-evaluate the level of compatibility between you two, following some information that he has become privy to in the course of marital plans.
When the plans for the wedding begin, you and your partner begin to know each other on a deeper level than you ever did.
If he feels that the two of you are not compatible or if he becomes uncertain about his feelings for you, it could be a reason why he is hesitating to marry you.
If your partner has found some loopholes in your relationship, he may decide to hold back and reconsider if you both are really compatible for marriage.
7. Financial Concerns
Weddings and marriages can be really expensive, but the couples can come together in agreement to do a wedding according to their pocket, seeing that there are other financial commitments needed in the marriage.
If your man is the major sponsor for the wedding and he’s realized that his finances will not take care of the expenses, or if he is not financially buoyant enough to cater for his family in marriage, he may decide to hold back on the wedding until he is more financially stable.
Your man may just feel that he is not financially ready yet, and this could be a source of contention for you both.
Although money should never be a reason to end relationships, it can certainly cause enough tension to put the marital plans on hold.
8. Legal or Administrative Hurdles
Some couples may need to travel after their wedding.
For instance, in a long-distance relationship where the man is abroad and would like to move his wife over after the wedding.
The delay or failure in obtaining the necessary documentation for immigration can also sponsor a delay in the wedding.
No man really wants to marry a wife he cannot physically be with.
So, he may decide to keep the marriage plans on hold until the issues are sorted out.
It is also possible that legal paperwork, such as prenuptial agreements, has not yet been signed or finalized.
If this is the case, then it’s best to wait until all the paperwork is in order before moving forward with the wedding.
9. Lack of Clear Communication
Love without communication is null and void.
Couples must be able to effectively communicate their needs and desires to each other.
Imagine being engaged to a man, yet you both haven’t had a clear and open conversation about your future together.
He will definitely wake up one day to ask himself questions about his plans for marriage.
Effective communication is key to understanding each other’s expectations.
When this is absent, marriage plans may be discontinued.
10. Personal Growth
Individual growth and self-discovery are continuous processes.
Your man may feel that he needs more time to grow personally before taking the next step.
Everyone wants to be a better version of themselves as much as they can, so while you’re thinking that your man is the best thing in the world, he may be feeling like he is not yet good enough for you and the marriage.
This may influence his decision not to go on with the plan to marry you.
You’d wish that your man never proposed marriage to you if you found yourself in this situation.
Nobody wants to become the lord of the rings, and nobody wants to face marital disappointment.
But if this is you, the one thing you want to make sure you do is ask questions.
His answer to your question will clear the air for you and ultimately help you address these concerns and work together to move forward, whether that means getting married or making other choices that are right for your relationship.