Rita has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for 5months now, and she is bothered that he feels like she is insecure in the relationship.
In every healthy relationship, it’s important that both partners feel secure and valued.
Insecurity is a brooding ground for many relationship challenges, and she does not want to entertain them in hers.
So, in search of ways to convince her man that she is secure in the relationship, she shares her concerns with her friend and counselor, Sharon.
Sharon has experience with these matters and often provides seasoned relationship advice to people in need.
Here are seven things she told Rita to do in order to assure her man of her security in the relationship.
7 Ways to Make Your Man Know You Are Secure in Your Relationship
1. Trust
Trust is one of the key ingredients in building a strong foundation for any secure relationship.
You should visit a new building site to see how the foundation is set.
After digging the depths needed, they put in some very key materials to make sure that the house is firmly secured and stands stable through the storms of life.
That’s what trust does in a relationship.
It ensures the stability of the relationship at all times.
Where both partners trust themselves and their commitment to the relationship, the bond becomes impenetrable by external forces.
Whatever comes their way, they stand strong through it.
Trust also strengthens each partner’s security in the relationship.
If you show your man that you have unwavering trust in him and his commitment to the relationship, there’s no way he will have doubts about your security in the relationship.
But if you keep on questioning everything he does suspiciously, he’ll begin to feel that you are insecure.
2. Respect Boundaries
What are the signs that couples respect themselves in their relationship?
It’s easy.
Look out for the way they treat each other.
Are there elements of kindness, consideration, and dignity in the way they handle themselves?
Couples who are respectful share these elements in their dealings with each other at all times and in every circumstance.
Another way to know if respect is a working factor in a relationship is in their setting and maintaining boundaries.
In a relationship where there is mutual respect, both partners understand that they are different people with different opinions, ideas, and boundaries.
And that the ability to respect each other’s boundaries can strengthen the bond of their relationship.
If your man does not want you to be in a certain area of his life, respect him and steer clear.
It is only insecurity that will push you to become a detective in an area of his life he has not given you access to.
It all boils down to trust.
Do you trust him?
Then, you should respect him and his boundaries.
3. Embrace Independence
It sure is a great thing to couple with your man, and it is equally important that you maintain your individuality through it.
Independence in a relationship refers to each individual’s ability to maintain their personal identity, interests, and autonomy while being part of a partnership.
It means that both partners have the freedom to pursue their own goals, maintain separate friendships and hobbies, and make decisions without feeling controlled or overly dependent on each other.
This balance of independence and togetherness is essential for every healthy and successful relationship.
The inability to embrace independence in a relationship often results in individuals losing themselves in the relationship.
This is a bad thing because people often appreciate and like to be with someone who is their own person.
There is a personality that endeared your man to you, and if you are not secure enough to maintain that personality in the relationship, you may just create separation between you two.
4. Support His Goals
Support in a relationship involves offering emotional, physical, and sometimes financial assistance to one’s partner during challenging times or in pursuit of personal goals.
In your relationship, you should be there for your man, providing the necessary comfort, encouragement, and understanding he needs to reach his goals.
This isn’t just a sign of love and commitment; and it also shows that you are not threatened by his achievements.
Rather, you share in his goals and visions, knowing fully well that his success in the relationship is the relationship’s success and, by extension, your success.
When you share and support his goal, it shows that you both have a clear sense of direction in the relationship and are working actively to reach that goal.
Be his biggest cheerleader.
Support his goals, dreams, and ambitions.
Knowing that you’re in his corner can also make him feel secure.
5. Celebrate His Achievements
If you support his goals, you’ll naturally celebrate his wins like they are yours because you were there all the way, offering assistance in your own little way.
But if you sparingly acknowledge his successes and do not celebrate them, it’ll often feel like you are not happy that he is winning or you are intimidated by his success.
And this won’t be the case if you consider them to be a plus to the relationship’s portfolio.
Apart from showing that you love and support him, sharing his achievements also creates a sense of security and togetherness.
It’s a way to make him see that you, too, are proud and happy for his success.
Show your admiration, not envy.
6. Handle Conflicts Maturely
In life, there is bound to be conflict.
I overheard a man saying that he’d been married to his wife for over 50 years, and they had never argued.
He probably meant they had a great conflict resolution mechanism that had been working for them all those years.
Because, as far as there is a relationship between two people, even if they are Siamese twins, there will be conflict.
Now, the conflict does not matter as much as how it is handled.
What is called a conflict resolution mechanism is actually the way two or more people in a partnership have agreed to resolve their conflicts when they arise.
It’s one of the proactive steps every couple should take in their relationship.
Because ready or not, conflict will arise.
When a woman is able to address disagreement constructively and without disrespect, her man can be rest assured that she is secure.
But when she is one who snaps at every little thing and holds unreasonable arguments, or she does the blame game and name-calling when conflicts arise, her man will take the cue that she is emotionally insecure.
7. Tell Him
Effective communication is another core foundational ingredient for a relationship that will weather the storms of life and stay strong.
It is the ability of partners to share their thoughts, feelings, and needs with each other in a way that strengthens understanding and connection between them.
Non-verbal communication is great and helps facilitate understanding in communication, but actions must have words upon which they rest.
If your husband has doubts concerning your security in the relationship, every other thing listed above can help him see that you are secure.
But it is also important that he hears it from you.
This will create a reassurance in his heart that he does not have to worry about anything.
Not just because you said the words but because you do not bottle up things you should be saying in the relationship.
It’s a sign of security and maturity when you are bold enough to say the things that need to be said in the relationship- respectfully and without ill feelings.
It’ll also encourage your man not to bottle up his feelings, knowing that whenever he needs to speak, he will be heard and understood.
It is possible for your man to lose assurance in your security as you progress in the relationship as a result of one situation or another.
That is why you have to maintain these gestures in your relationship to keep him continually assured that you are both happy and secure in your relationship.
Of course, these gestures are subject to review based on the uniqueness of your relationship.