There are so many things that people do and hide under the guise of love.
I frown at a whole lot of toxicity and misbehavior displayed by adults who claim they are in love.
I agree that there is a form of more grace extended to one’s partner when in love, but that does not give anyone the right to be manipulative, controlling, or abusive.
Love should never be an excuse for bad behavior. In fact, it should be the opposite.
True love involves respect, trust, and support for one another. It’s about finding a balance between giving and receiving. Love is not about power or control.
The fact that we extend this grace does not mean that we should embrace toxicity.
These toxic habits are perfectly abnormal/
So buckle up and get ready to laugh, maybe cringe a little, and hopefully learn something valuable as we explore “Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal.”
8 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal
1. The Silent Treatment
Ah, the classic silent treatment.
How effective is ignoring someone when solving a problem?
Your partner does something you don’t like, so you decide to communicate by not communicating at all.
Makes total sense, right? Not really.
Like I always tell my husband: “No response is also a response.”
This is like punishing someone by making them play charades with you but without the fun part of guessing.
You know, like throwing a temper tantrum but without the screaming. Just silent rage.
Imagine if Alexa gave you the silent treatment. How would you get anything done?
Communication is key in any relationship, and the silent treatment only creates more confusion and resentment.
2. Keeping Scores
Can love truly flourish when you’re keeping score like it’s a game of Monopoly?
“Oh, you didn’t do the dishes last night? Well then I won’t make dinner tonight.”
This kind of tit-for-tat mentality only breeds resentment and animosity in a relationship.
This turns love into a competitive sport.
Like both of you trying to win a gold medal in “Who Did More Chores” when you should be focusing on not tripping over the laundry basket.
Instead of feeling like you’re on the same team, it feels like you’re in a never-ending game of relationship Olympics.
Instead of keeping score and trying to one-up each other, try communicating openly and finding solutions together.
Remember, it’s not about who does more or less, but about working together as a team.
If something bothers you, discuss it calmly and respectfully instead of using it as ammunition later.
3. Passive-Aggressive Comments
Nothing says “I love you” quite like a passive-aggressive comment.
“Oh, you’re going out with your friends again?
Must be nice to have so much free time.”
What’s the impact of passive-aggressive behavior on trust and communication?
Passive-aggressive comments can have a negative impact on trust and communication in a relationship.
These types of comments are often disguised as jokes or sarcasm, but they can actually be very hurtful and damaging to the relationship when they become constant.
When one partner makes passive-aggressive comments towards the other, it shows that they do not feel comfortable expressing their feelings openly and honestly.
This lack of trust and vulnerability can prevent effective communication from taking place.
Instead of discussing issues directly, partners may resort to making snide remarks or using humor as a way to avoid confronting their true feelings.
4. Expecting Them to Read Your Mind
How realistic is it to expect someone to know your thoughts without telling them?
You know that moment when you’re upset, and your partner asks,
“What’s wrong?” and you say, “Nothing,” but secretly, you expect them to know exactly what’s wrong. Yep, that’s a toxic habit.
You’re expecting your partner to be a psychic medium who can read your mind and predict your moods. If only they had a crystal ball, right?
The fact that you’re in love does not mean they have to know what is going on in your head or develop psychic abilities to read your mind.
The most they can sense is that your mood is probably off or sour.
5. Jealousy as a Sign of Love
How can jealousy negatively affect trust and freedom in a relationship?
Jealousy is often seen as a sign of love in relationships.
It can be interpreted as a partner caring deeply and wanting to protect their significant other from potential threats or harm.
However, the reality is that jealousy can actually have a detrimental effect on trust and freedom within a relationship.
When someone becomes jealous, it is usually due to insecurity or fear of losing the person they love.
This can lead to controlling behavior, such as constantly checking their partner’s phone or social media accounts, questioning their whereabouts and interactions with others, or even restricting who they are allowed to spend time with.
This lack of trust can make the other person feel suffocated and trapped in the relationship.
They may start to resent being constantly monitored and not having autonomy over
Many people think jealousy is a sign of love.
“If they’re not jealous, do they even care?”
But jealousy can quickly turn into possessiveness, and nobody likes feeling like they’re being held captive in their own relationship.
It’s like treating your relationship like a game of Capture the Flag, where you’re constantly trying to guard your partner from invisible threats.
6. Over-Reliance on Your Partner
While it’s great to lean on your partner for support, expecting them to be your everything, your best friend, therapist, and life coach, is unrealistic and exhausting for them.
It’s like hiring one person to do the job of an entire staff, chef, chauffeur, therapist, and personal cheerleader. Talk about multitasking!
This can put a lot of pressure on your partner, leading to burnout in the relationship.
How can relying too much on one person strain the relationship?
When you rely too heavily on your partner, you can create an unhealthy power dynamic in which one person is constantly giving and the other is constantly taking.
This can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed for the giver, while the taker may feel suffocated and guilty.
Over-reliance can also lead to codependency, where one partner becomes emotionally dependent on the other for their well-being.
This can be damaging for both individuals as it hinders personal growth and independence.
7. Comparing Your Relationship to Others
Thanks to social media, we constantly compare our relationships to the highlight reels of others.
“Why can’t we be like that couple who’s always traveling and looking perfect?”
Newsflash: no relationship is as perfect as it seems on Instagram.
You’re trying to compare your homemade mac and cheese to a Michelin-starred restaurant dish. Both are great, but they’re not the same.
How can comparing your relationship to others create unrealistic expectations?
Constantly comparing your relationship to others can create unrealistic expectations because it is based on an idealized version of someone else’s life.
In reality, every couple goes through their own unique challenges and struggles.
When you constantly compare yourself to others, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and feelings of inadequacy.
8. Giving Ultimatums
“If you don’t stop doing that, I’m leaving!”
Ultimatums are toxic because they turn every disagreement into a high-stakes game.
It’s like using a sledgehammer to kill a fly, dramatic and completely unnecessary.
Good luck with playing “Deal or No Deal” with your relationship on the line instead of money. High stakes, much?
Using ultimatums in a relationship is a sign of unhealthy communication and lack of compromise.
It shows that one person is trying to control the other instead of working together as a team.
Instead of resorting to ultimatums, try finding solutions together.
Let’s Get Real
We’ve all been guilty of some of these toxic habits at one point or another.
The important thing is to recognize them and make changes.
Healthy relationships are built on communication, trust, and respect.
The next time you catch yourself or your partner falling into one of these traps, take a step back, laugh, and remember what matters.
Think of yourself as a relationship gardener, pruning away the toxic habits to let love bloom.
Love isn’t about being perfect; it’s about growing together and creating a space where both partners can thrive. Remember that!