So let me guess: You’ve met someone, the charming guy who makes your heart flutter and your stomach do somersaults, and your slogan right now is “Love is beautiful.”
But as the days turn into weeks, you start to wonder, is he really in this for the long haul, or is he just playing the field? ‘
Is the deal forever, or is breakfast (Nigerian slang for breakup) pending?
Hold on a minute, my friend!
Let’s dive into the murky waters of relationship signals and uncover the strong signs he is not serious about you!
9 Strong Signs He Is Not Serious About You And What To Do
1. He Refuses to Define the Relationship
You’ve been dating for a while, shared countless laughs, and even survived a disastrous sushi date (seriously, who orders eel?).
Yet, when you bring up the dreaded “What are we?” conversation, he squirms like a worm on a hot sidewalk or poor still like a child caught stealing meat from the pot after dinner and was asked why he did it.
His commitment-phobia radar goes off, and suddenly, he’s sprinting away faster than a cheetah chasing its prey.
What to Do:
Don’t settle for ambiguity; don’t let him lead you to where you don’t know.
You deserve clarity. If he won’t define the relationship, it’s time to channel your inner detective.
Investigate his actions. Do they align with someone who is serious?
If not, consider reevaluating your investment in this emotional stock market.
2. You Don’t Come First for Him
Life gets busy, we get it, but never too busy for love, loving, and for someone you love.
There’s a difference between occasional schedule changes and being perpetually shelved like a forgotten library book.
If you’re consistently an afterthought, it’s time to raise an eyebrow.
When you’re not a priority, it’s like he’s treating your heart like a backup dancer in his life’s grand performance.
What to Do:
Value yourself. A man who truly cares will move mountains (or at least rearrange his Netflix queue) to be there for you.
If he consistently reschedules or cancels plans, it’s a neon sign flashing, “He’s not serious.”
Consider whether you want a starring role or a cameo in his life story.
Don’t settle for being constantly put on the back burner. You deserve to be a main character in someone’s story, not just a supporting role.
3. You’re Not Exactly Sure Where You Stand
Navigating a relationship shouldn’t feel like solving advanced maths problems; you’re in love, not in a NASA lab.
If you’re stuck in a relationship maze without a map, chances are he’s not ready for something serious.
When the path forward remains foggy, it’s time to question whether you’re on a wild goose chase or a meaningful journey.
But then, you can choose to hold in. If you enjoy the NASA style, you might be lucky enough to experience your heartbreak on a space ship.
What to Do:
Seek clarity. Ask him directly where he sees this going.
If he stumbles over his words like a toddler learning to walk, it’s a red flag.
Remember, relationships thrive on open communication, not cryptic riddles.
4. His Interest in Your Life and Beliefs Is Minimal
Remember the passionate conversations about your dreams, pet peeves, and childhood memories?
Well, it’s a sign if he reacts to your passions like a bored sloth.
A man who’s serious about you will lean in, ask questions, and genuinely care about your quirks.
If he’s more interested in the weather forecast than in what you have to say, it’s time to use popular Nigerian slang; think about your life.
What to Do:
Observe. Does he listen when you talk about your passions?
Does he remember your favorite ice cream flavor (it’s Rocky Road, by the way)?
If not, consider whether you’re in a relationship or on a solo trip.
5. He’s a Corn(y) Flake
Humor is good, but there’s a fine line between playful teasing and emotional detachment.
If he consistently jokes about your feelings or dismisses your concerns, he’s a cornflake—crunchy on the outside and mushy on the inside.
A serious partner balances laughter with empathy, not sarcasm.
What to Do:
Gauge his emotional IQ.
Does he validate your emotions or brush them off like crumbs from a sandwich?
If he’s more “dad joke” than “deep conversation,” it’s time to decide whether you’re building a sandcastle or a skyscraper together.
6. He Flirts with Your Friends
Ah, the classic “friendly flirt.” If he’s batting his eyelashes at your bestie or sending heart emojis to your cousin, you’ve got to wake up and stop sleeping.
Sure, we all appreciate a good laugh and some harmless banter, but when he’s playing footsie with your social circle, it’s like he’s auditioning for a reality dating show.
And sorry, you’re not the guest, just a crew member.
What to Do:
Observe. Is he genuinely interested in your friends’ lives or just collecting phone numbers like Pokémon cards?
If he’s more “flirty McFlirtface” than a “serious partner,” it’s time to decide whether you’re in a relationship or a game of emotional musical chairs.
7. He Avoids Future Planning Like a Procrastination Champion
You know when you mention future vacations, moving in together, or even next weekend’s brunch, and he immediately turns into a master of evasion, take a minute and think twice.
His calendar is a blank canvas, and commitment feels like a foreign language.
If he’s allergic to discussing anything beyond today’s lunch menu, it’s time to question whether he’s serious about building a shared future.
What to Do:
Be direct. Ask ab out his long-term goals and aspirations.
If he sidesteps like a salsa dancer, consider whether you’re in a relationship or a time-travel experiment where he’s stuck in the present.
8. His Phone Is a Fort Knox of Secrets
You’ve seen his phone, a sleek device with more security layers than a Swiss bank vault.
But when you innocently ask to borrow it for a quick Google search, he clutches it like a precious relic.
If he’s guarding his phone like it holds the secrets of the universe (or just some questionable memes), it’s time to decode the encrypted message.
What to Do:
Don’t jump to conclusions. Approach the topic with open communication and trust.
Express your concerns and ask for an explanation in a calm and non-confrontational manner.
If he continues to be secretive or defensive, consider if this is a red flag for trust issues in the relationship.
9. He’s a Serial Ghoster
Ghosting isn’t just for Halloween I tell you, it’s a year-round sport for some people.
So hear me out, if he disappears for days, weeks, or even months without explanation, he’s the Usain Bolt of emotional sprints, you can’t keep up.
His vanishing act leaves you wondering if he’s in the Witness Protection Program or just terrible at communication or both, LOL.
If he’s more “phantom” than “partner,” it’s time to decide whether you’re in a relationship or a cosmic game of hide-and-seek.
Your next question should be, who’s Tom, and who’s Jerry?
What to Do:
Set boundaries. A serious partner respects your time and feelings.
If he’s more of an “interdimensional traveler” than a “reliable companion,” consider whether you’re building a bridge or a portal to another dimension LOL.
Decode and Decide
If these signs resonate, don’t panic, take a deep breath, consult your heart’s compass, and decide whether you’re on the same page or in different libraries altogether.
You deserve someone who is serious about writing a beautiful chapter with you, one filled with laughter, vulnerability, and maybe a few plot twists.
And hey, if this guy turns out to be a “He’s Just Not That Into You” character, fear not. The sequel is always better.
Relationships are like jigsaw puzzles. Sometimes, the pieces fit perfectly, and other times, you’re left with a stubborn corner piece.