Situationships have become increasingly common in modern dating.
They can be defined as the romantic or sexual relationship that lacks commitment and structure.
Sometimes it stems from one party wanting more than the other and as a result expectations are built and disappointments are served.
As much as this sounds bad already, many people do not know how to walk away even when they already know they are in a situationship.
Trust me, it can be challenging to navigate these kinds of relationships.
In this blog post, we will explore 12 reasons why people find themselves in situationships.
12 Reasons Why I Find Myself In Situationships
1. Fear of commitment:
Some people are afraid of committing to an individual but still want to enjoy relationship benefits.
This is a way for them to avoid being in a committed relationship.
They give you little relationship experience with a lot of hanging in the air to do.
You may try to want to clarify things but then you remember that you were not exclusively in a relationship.
Because of the nature of the relationship you just decide to flow with the tide.
The fear of commitment is the major reason too many people end up in situationships.
2. Lack of communication:
I will always regret the fact that communication is the basis of any form of relationship.
Don’t mix things up.
You might be talking to someone every day but not communicating with the person because you did not get to understand each other.
Poor communication can lead to misunderstanding and unclear expectations which can lead to a situationship.
For instance, when someone just wants to be friends with benefits with you and you want to be in a relationship with them if care is not taken you might mix up the signals given.
Especially if this goes on for a long time you might feel bad that you have wasted some time with them and instead of breaking off the relationship, you decide to continue.
3. Unavailable partners:
Unavailable partners can also make a relationship go from being a proper relationship to a situationship.
An unavailable partner either physically or emotionally will not be able to offer you a committed relationship.
A partner may become unavailable due to a whole lot of circumstances.
However whatever makes your partner unavailable for you to the point of you being strung along leave you in a situationship.
4. Timing:
Another reason people find themselves in situationships is timing.
Always remember that people’s timing will not be your timing.
The fact that you like someone enough to want to make them your significant other does not mean the person Will reciprocate such feelings at that time.
That you are ready for a relationship does not mean the person you like is also ready to be committed to you.
However, because you somehow feel that they will come around which they may not, you find yourself stuck on them for a long time.
You cannot claim to be in a relationship with them even though you tend to give each other emotional support.
Such an arrangement is basically a situationship and not a relationship.
5. Convenience:
Sometimes some people are in love with the idea of being in love with you rather than being in love with you.
I don’t know if you get that.
What I simply mean is that some people love the idea of thinking about you but I’m not ready to fully commit to you.
They just want to have a physical, emotional or moral connection with you.
As a result, a situationship will be more convenient for them rather than a fully committed relationship.
6. Low self-esteem:
What low self-esteem does to people can never be exhausted.
People with low self-esteem find themselves settling for situationships because they feel they are not deserving of a committed relationship.
It leaves them feeling like nobody will want to have anything to do with them.
So whoever comes their way who tends to fill a certain vacuum or just scratches the surface of what they really want, they settle for them.
7. Fear of rejection:
One major thing we should learn to do for ourselves is to learn to be comfortable in our own company.
Love yourself so much that you can be alone with yourself without the fear of being left out when you are not with anybody.
Many people find themselves in situationships because they are afraid of being rejected by people.
And because they fear being alone as a result of rejection they settle for the situationship as being a better alternative.
8. Confusion:
Many people are confused about their feelings or the other person’s feelings.
And other than clarifying things or sorting things out they choose to live in the moment.
They took part in the relationship that seems to suit them.
It is better to clear things out than to be in a situationship but where you choose to leave things as they are you find yourself in a mix-up.
9. Loneliness:
As I said above being alone can lead to loneliness if you have not learned to enjoy your alone time.
Most people in the quest to seek out companionship can drive them to settle for anyone even if it’s in the form of a situationship.
They just want someone to listen to them or be there for them.
The funny reality is that the relationship at that point may not even serve the purpose for which they entered into it.
They cannot stay there in a relationship and they cannot say they are not in a relationship so they just hang in there.
10. Physical attraction:
Truth be told, so many people’s point of attraction is in their looks.
No matter how good a person is to you or how much you are attracted to their personality, looks play a great role in attraction.
Great physical attraction can lead people to engage with each other for a long time without considering the emotional consequences.
And where you are easily carried away or swayed by their looks and charisma you find yourself entangled with them in an almost relationship rather than a fully committed relationship.
Some people are basically good for their looks and nothing more.
11. Lack of alternatives:
We all have our specifications when it comes to choosing a partner.
Some people find it difficult to find a suitable partner for themselves.
So when one seems to come along they simply settle for them because they do not have any other alternative.
In such a situation they cannot really lay claim to them as their partners.
12. Past trauma:
Some people will rather settle for a person who seems to get them who they really want.
This is due to past experiences in their relationships.
It is a form of response to trauma and even when the person is not entirely who they want or who wants them, they’d rather stay there as a way to protect themselves from getting hurt.
This protection can be in the form of emotional support which is sometimes disguised as love and commitment.
Where nothing is defined you’ll soon realise that you are in nothing but a situationship.
How To Get Out Of Situationships.
Getting out of a situationship can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that you deserve to be in a relationship that meets your needs and expectations.
Here are some steps you can take to get yourself out of a situationship:
1. Define your boundaries:
It’s important to know your boundaries and what you’re willing to accept in a relationship.
If your current situationship isn’t meeting your needs, define your boundaries and communicate them clearly with the other person.
2. Communicate your feelings:
It’s important to communicate your feelings and intentions with the other person.
Be honest and direct about what you want and how you feel.
3. Take a break:
If you need some space to think, take a break from the situationship.
This will give you time to reflect on your feelings and determine whether you want to continue the relationship or end it.
4. End the situationship:
If the situationship is not meeting your needs or expectations, it may be time to end it.
Be clear and direct with the other person about your decision.
5. Focus on self-care:
It’s important to take care of yourself during and after a situationship.
Focus on your own needs and interests, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family.
6. Set new goals:
Once you’ve ended the situationship, set new goals for yourself.
Focus on personal growth and creating a fulfilling life for yourself.
Remember that getting out of a situationship can be difficult, but it’s important to prioritize your own needs and well-being.
Stay true to yourself and don’t settle for less than you deserve.
In conclusion, there are many reasons why people find themselves in situationships.
Some people may enjoy the freedom and lack of commitment, while others may find themselves in these relationships due to fear or other emotional issues.
Whatever the reason, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly with the other person to avoid misunderstandings and to ensure that both parties are on the same page.
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