Love is everything beautiful and is at its best when it is allowed to flow naturally.
Everyone wants to have the experience of falling in love and being with their own person, but nobody wants their own person to become their own oppressor.
As much as love has the ability to cloud people’s vision, a person in love can easily tell if they are respected, wanted, and valued in a relationship.
Equally, a person who is blinded by love should be able to recognize a controlling partner early in the relationship.
Knowing that your partner is controlling early in the relationship will help you weigh your options and protect your health before things get out of control.
So, in this article, we have listed 8 easy signs to tell if your man is controlling in your relationship.
8 Signs That He Is A Controlling Man
1. Isolation from Friends and Family
You know love is blind, yeah?
We all know that.
Many times, when we’re in love, we need external eyes to help us see the things the cloud of emotions is preventing us from seeing.
These external eyes may include your family and trusted friends.
So your controlling man will like to block out those eyes from the relationship so that he can have a full hold on you.
He may do this subtly and deceitfully by planting wrong ideas concerning them in your mind.
And as these ideas grow and spread, you begin to push your people away without knowing.
He may go the way of emotional blackmail.
That’s when you’ll hear questions like, “Am I not friend enough for you?”
If you fall for this trap, you become increasingly dependent on him for social interaction, making it easier for him to control you.
There are several other ways he may employ to make sure that there is no extra eye looking for you so that he can have full control.
2. Excessive Jealousy
Look closely at how your man expresses jealousy.
Of course, jealousy can be a healthy sign of love because if someone loves you, it is natural for them to want to be the object of your primary focus and concern.
But jealousy can become unhealthy, too.
First of all, you should know that you’re not a commodity that is bought in the marriage and owned by the buyer.
You are an individual with a life and mind of your own and with the power to make your own choices.
When your man, out of jealousy, begins to question all your interactions with others and wants to be the owner of your time and attention, he may be a controlling man.
For instance, when he makes a rule that you do not go anywhere or have any interaction with anyone without consulting with him first.
It may look harmless at first, but a close consideration of it will reveal the controlling trait in it.
3. Constant Criticism
People who are controlling are also critics most time.
They question and criticize everything you do and make it look like it’s terrible, no matter how perfect it is.
In their opinion, everything should go and be done their own way.
So, the things that are not done their own way are done wrong as far as they are concerned.
They’ll criticize how you look, your choices, your actions, and every other thing that is not done their way.
You should know that no matter how good a person is or how much they believe in themselves if they are constantly criticized, they’ll begin to doubt their self-worth because words are like seeds planted in people’s minds, the more they come.
The more they take root, grow, and spread into every corner of the mind.
4. Monitoring and Surveillance
Humans are not naturally endowed with the ability to see beyond their surroundings or to be in different places at the same time.
And I think that this is what inspired the invention of CCTV cameras.
People often place CCTV cameras in locations where they want to have control over, so it’s no surprise that your man who is monitoring you at every corner is a controlling man.
He may not place a hidden camera on you or put a tracker on your phone at the early stage, but he will check your texts and emails without letting you know.
He may even steal access to your social media space in order to monitor your activities.
This is a breach of privacy and a sign of control.
There is even the other level where they have in-men at your office or your neighborhood, checking your activities and giving them feedback.
They’ll use every information gotten to keep you under their control.
5. Manipulation
You’ve heard of emotional blackmail, right?
It is simply a manipulative tactic where someone uses threats, guilt, or other forms of emotional pressure to control or manipulate another person’s actions or decisions.
They’ll often make the victim feel responsible for the blackmailer’s emotions or well-being, creating a sense of obligation or fear.
So your man knows a secret about you that you would prefer to keep private, and he uses it to control you.
He’ll tell you things like, “If you do this, I’ll tell your secret.”
Or he uses your love for him to make you do things you’ll naturally not do.
If your man frequently interprets your refusal to do something as a lack of love for him, he is emotionally blackmailing you.
It’s an early sign of control you should recognize in the relationship.
He may be blackmailing you to do unharmful things at the beginning, but you don’t know all that is on his agenda.
6. Dictating Your Choices
Have you seen the movie “Dictator?”
It’ll help you understand this point better.
A dictator is a ruler who holds absolute and often oppressive power over a country or organization, typically without the consent of the governed.
So, a dictator doesn’t give you a choice at all.
They make the choices, and you must follow them.
That’s how a controlling man can be.
He will often insist on making decisions for you, ranging from what to wear, where to go, or even career choices.
And you either do as they want or you lose the relationship.
A man can only have this level of disregard for your autonomy if he has something on you.
He knows that you are scared of losing the relationship, so he takes to dictatorship to control your every breath.
That is why, as a person, you must be able to stand up for yourself and have your own voice so that no one would be able to use dictatorship on you.
7. Intrusion of Personal Space
Is your man the one who takes your personal things without permission?
Like spending your money on things that don’t concern you without asking?
Or give out your belongings without your permission.
That’s an early sign of control.
No respect for you or your privacy.
They’ll invade boundaries with the excuse that you love them, so you wouldn’t mind.
8. Verbal or Physical Abuse
One of the most severe signs of control is verbal or physical abuse.
You are a perfect person, created so.
Any form of abuse should never be tolerated.
Don’t give room to anyone to tell you that you are worth anything less or demonstrate it in physical abuse.
That is a clear indication of a toxic relationship, and you shouldn’t be part of that.
Being in a relationship with a controlling partner is so unhealthy and toxic.
It can have severe emotional and psychological consequences.
So it is important to discover and address it early enough to protect the well-being of all involved parties.
Love is good, being in a relationship is better, but having a healthy relationship that is built on mutual respect, trust, and good communication is the best, and that is what you should reach for.Â